Molly hits all the medical professionals in one week.

I know I haven't written in quite some time, but yes, I am alive -- just barely. It all started one week ago when I bit down on some salad and roasted chicken for lunch and chipped/cracked my bottom front tooth and loosened it something fierce. Call the dentist and the dentist said, "No mo eatin with a fork while you mad." Go in and get the tooth fixed, well, sorta. He fixed the chip and crack, but he couldn't do anything about it being loose. It's either going to live or die which means root canal if it dies and a crooked tooth if it lives.
Then I go to the chiropractor for a free consultation that my mom got, which includes a free massage. Go into the doctor and the doctor says, "No mo carryin your computer bag on your shoulder." I still haven't gone back to get my massage or the X-ray results. I'm a little afraid of what he'll say next.
Then on Saturday I'm out doing some yard work with my neighbor in my back yard and fix the fence out back and mow the lawn and the lawnmower gets stuck so I grab a hold of the lawnmower to jimmy it loose and grab the motor thing on top. This sheer of pain surged through my brain and into my entire body. I've never felt that pain in my life. So after discussing it with a few people, I decide that I can't handle the pain and better go into the doc-in-the box. The doctor said, "Yep, sho nuf, you've got 2nd degree burns on the palm of your right hand. No mo typing for 14 days." I said, "Oh, hwell no. Give me something strong, because I aint gunna be outta work for 14 days." Some antibacterial cream, gauze pads and pain pills later, I'm on my way to recovery.
Rainy came over and brought all of her stash of medical burn supplies from her accident and I'm feeling so fantastic tonight. Haven't taken a pain pill all day. I'm a little tired and it's starting to hurt a little bit, so I'm going to take one tonight. But all in all, I think I hit every medical profession so I think I'm good to go for a while, don't ya think?

Say What?

Here's an excerpt of a doctor's deposition that I did.
Answer: "On 3/22/89, a lumbar MRI exam was obtained, showing grade I spondylitic spondylolisthesis at L5 and S1 with secondary bilateral intervertebral neural foraminal stenosis and compression of the L5 nerve roots bilaterally."
What I wrote, "lumbar MRI exam was obtained, showing grade one, holy crap, at L5 and S1 with second elementary bilateral, what the hell was that garbage, and compression of the nerve roots."
Whew, I'm glad they didn't have me read back that answer.