Friday, March 11, 2011

Funny Friday

THE STUTTERING KITTEN FROM THE MOUTH OF A CHILD...YOU NEVER KNOW.

A teacher is explaining biology to her 3rd grade students. She says, "Human beings are the only animals that stutter."
A little girl raises her hand. saying, "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"
The teacher exclaimed, "That must've been scary,"
The little girl said, "It sure was. My kitty raised her back, went ' Sssss, Sssss, Sssss ' and before she could say ' Shit, ' the Rottweiler ate her!"

The teacher left the room........

Thursday, March 10, 2011

"You Can't Handle the Truth."

One of the greatest movie lines came from A Few Good Men with Jack Nicholson yelling, "You can't handle the truth." How true is that? No one wants to hear the truth, they want to sugar-coat it to make it more nice. Why? Is that to protect our feelings? Guess what, GET OVER IT.
In high school I lied to my parents to "protect them." They didn't need to know what was going on with me all the time, did they? Well, guess what, they knew exactly what I was doing. I mean, growing up in a small town of 350 people, they knew where I was, what I was doing, who I was with and they didn't even have to make a phone call. All they had to do was go into Pipers Grocery Store or the Grange and find out everything.
As I've gotten older, I've made peace with mom and dad with all the lies I told, and since then really haven't lied. You can ask a lot of people that I just can't lie anymore. Sometimes I wish there was a filter button inside my head instead of just blurting out the truth, but then again, people just can't handle the truth anymore.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Identity Theft

Well, I have been the victim of identity theft. Apparently the purchase came from a Macy's store in Ohio from a late night shopping spree and an online purchase from MAC, a makeup store, according to the Wells Fargo banker. My card has now been cancelled, have to wait 5-7 business days to get a new card, a temporary one can be picked up at my local branch, then it will take up to two weeks for my money to be put back into my account. I asked, "What happens when this ends up bouncing my other pending checks? You will be covering those, correct?" She said, "Yes. If that happens, it will be another 10 days after the overdraft has been completed before I see any monies received back."
All I can say is: To the person who stole my card information, I hope you're feeling good in the new clothes and makeup I bought you. You're welcome!