Diary of a Mad Court Reporter 2

Dear Diary:Yesterday I got up at 5:00 to leave my house by 6:30 to head to Ontario for Volume 4 starting at 8:00 of this crazy lady. By 10:30 I knew we were not going to finish. I mean, how many can one person have of clothes and remember exactly where they bought them and how much they paid for them and what year they got them? I know I can't do that. It's 12:10 and we break for lunch. I took my own lunch so I could read my emails, call and talk to Cindy (another court reporter) to have her give me a pep talk to not tie my machine around my waist and jump in the pool. This too shall pass... this too shall pass.... this too shall pass -- nope, it isn't working. We start again at 1:00. Needless to say we did not finish and I got another 300+ pages. We go start again next Tuesday at 8:00. People, we haven't even gotten finished with her clothes. We haven't even started with household items. I can see this examination under oath going for 10 volumes. All I can say is, who knows a good massage person? Because my shoulders have 700 pages worth of weight on them and it feels like concrete.

WWW SMACKDOWN: Squirrel Verus BoBo

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the main event. Along one side of the fence we have a 4'5" (standing on his back feet) weighing in at 90 pounds BOBO WARD...... On the fence we have a 6" weighing in at 1 pound SQUIRREL..... Round 1 Squirrel is taunting BoBo for last 5 minutes dancing along the fence line, jumping from tree to tree, talking smack. BoBo is barking. Round 2 BoBo crouches watching patiently for the Squirrel to stop talking smack and come down and fight, more barking. Round 3 Squirrel jumps from tree, BoBo hauls butt along the fence line, jumps into the air nips the Squirrel's tail, Squirrel falls over into neighbor's yard. Round 4 Squirrel jumps up from neighbor's yard back onto the fence, BoBo jumps on the fence, Squirrel gets knocked off, falls to the ground, BoBo doesn't know what to do but bark, Squirrel fakes dead, gets up and runs to the tree. Squirrel wins today.

Diary of a Mad Court Reporter

Dear Diary: Traveling to Ontario last Monday was so refreshing. Waking up at 6, getting ready, leaving out the door by 7:30, driving in the cool 60-degree morning with the sun shining bright, I knew that my 9:00 deposition was going to be great. I arrive at 8:30 at the Holiday Inn Lewis conference room and realize we are sitting poolside... ahhhhhh... so refreshing. With a few technical difficulties with the speaker phone for the insurance adjuster who was listening from the telephone, we got started at 9:30. Maybe I'd been gazing out at the pool a little too long because before you know it, it's 12:00, lunchtime! Wow, this day is going so fantastic. I'm at 120 pages and we have no end of finishing today -- oh, well. It's a pretty good job for the most part. 3:00, man, I'm so dang tired, I wish this witness would just answer these questions. We could have been done by now. 5:00 and 260 pages, are you kidding me? We aren't even done? COME ON. Have to reschedule for Volume III.
Dear Diary: I'm not very happy today as I have to go back to Ontario to do Volume III of this crazy lady. All I can think about is $$$$$$$$$$$$. Ahhh, that helps. 9:00 we start. Oh, that's right, how can I forget, this lady won't answer the question in just a yes/no format she has to talk for 3 pages and then say yes or no. 9:30 I'm rotating my chair away from this crazy lady and have to zone out onto the pool. Ahhhhh, that's better...... 11:00, 100 pages in. Are you serious? How can you think your daughter climbed into your crawl space and was watching you at night and then coming into your apartment and steeling your stuff? Are you for real? Seriously, you think that your daughter has tapped your cell phone and listening to your conversations because you can hear an echo and then the call disconnects? Come on lunchtime...12:30 lunchtime... 1:50 lunchtime over already, what? I have to go back to work? 2:00 is it break time yet? 2:30 break time boss? 3:30, 210 pages in. I want to go tie my machine around my waist and jump into the pool and sink... make these voices in my head stop (oh, that's right, they're not in my head they are coming through my ears and into my brain and won't stop.) 4:30, we are not going to finish today. 5:15, 270 pages... not done yet. Volume 4 to be scheduled.

Rags

Rags are such a valuable tools for everyday life. When I was little and got hurt, there wasn't no kissy-kissy from mom, it was "Do you need a cold rag?" We'd say yes, put it on our wound and stop crying immediately. I still need a cold rag occasionally for my head, eyes, hot flashes, et cetera. Rags aren't just used to help stop the pain, but to clean things, also. Today Gus discovered one of my rags. I had a pile of laundry sitting in the bathroom ready to be thrown into the washer and he decided to "run" with it. I hope he doesn't get any ideas that this is his new toy because as you can see from the picture, he started to shred it.... that is unless I can train him to start dusting!