Santa Came Early

It's now been 3 weeks that Santa came and dropped me off a new Dyson Pet Vacuum. I've thought about submitting a clip into the Dyson company of me vacuuming BoBo with my sisters' Dysons, hoping to get a free one. But just in the nick of time, ol Saint Nick's helper came rushing over from Richfield to drop it off. I've been vacuuming like crazy. There's something about getting a new vacuum only to start vacuuming in places that haven't ever been vacuumed, right? And BoBo is very happy when I crack out the Dyson. He is the first to go over to the rug (everywhere else is hardwood floors) and sit down, hoping that I'll crack out the wand. When I crack out the wand, he knows it's his turn. I need to upload a video I took from my phone, but I don't know how. I might have to call Debra on that one. Anyway, thank you Santa in Richfield and Santa's helper love you and my Dyson!

Who doesn't love ham balls?

Yesterday I was able to attend a dinner hosted by the Ward cousins. How I love Emily, Debra and Steve (and of course their families, too). There's something about ham balls that I love. Maybe it's the fact that I only get to have them once a year, or maybe it's the ham balls (cousins)that comes along with the ham balls. It's fun to get together and laugh, visit and enjoy each other. I can't believe they all have cute little kiddies. I wanted to snatch that lil Carter up and take him home (okay, so maybe just for a day) and cuddle him. I gave him a hug when I was leaving and I said, "You're my lil pumpkin." And he goes "I'm your lil pumpkin." And I said, "Yes." He was like, "No, I'm your lil pumpkin." He was trying to say, "No, you're my lil pumpkin," only he couldn't quit spit it out. I thought it was so cute.
So thanks to the Wards for hosting this lil ham ball for ham balls, wouldn't miss it!

I'm Still Stickin with 6 Weeks Today!

Even though I flubbed up the other day and bought a pack of cigarettes and smoked 3, I went to bed even more angry and boo-hoo-ie. At 3:30 that morning I got out of bed, got my pack of cigarettes, crushed them up, poured water all over them and then proceeded out in the cold in my pjs and slippers and put them in the trash and went back to bed. I'm still doing great. I've been finding out a lot about myself in the past 6 weeks, but it just goes to show that (according to Ted Pyrah) I am "one tough Ward and Pyrah."

Holy Snow!

For the first time in years, we got dumped on. Our weathermen usually are wrong about the weather here in Boise and when they said we were supposed to get 4 inches, I was like, "Yeah, right." When I awoke, there wasn't just 4 inches, there was 7 and it was still snowing.

Want to know what happens when a nonsmoker needs a break? She plows her driveway and sidewalk and no, not with a tractor, although I probably could in Richfield, but with her snow shovel. Great workout, but now it's back to my computer work and warm house!

Thanksgiving Complete

Happy Thanksgiving! Today was a fantastic day with family, food and fun. Mom and Dad couldn't make it over because of the roads, but we pressed ahead to have a fun day. I went out to Jody's house, we collaborated food and it was great. I had fun looking through the ads in the newspaper, playing in the air hockey tournament in Spencer's room, laying down in Jody's king-sized bed giggling, watching my Cowboys lose (okay that was fun), laughing and playing with Lee's grandkids and just being happy.
My wrap up report is this: I am so thankful for my family. Whether they're here or there, thick or thin, I love my family.

Thanks a lot (PG-13)

Today I'm grateful that when I went to the grocery store and almost got ran over by a car that I didn't slam my hands on the hood and give him the middle finger.
Today I'm grateful that when I actually got into the grocery store that I didn't fall completely on my ass, I caught myself, in front of a good looking guy picking out bananas.
Today I'm grateful that I only burned myself 3 times on the oven door and only swore 20 times -- it coulda been worse.
Today I'm grateful that I didn't have to get my mop out to clean the floor because BoBo was right beside me the whole day eating what I dropped and licking the floor. I even asked if the dressing needed more salt and he just laid down and took a deep sigh, which means yes. I'm also grateful that with cooking all day, I didn't have to wash my dishes once because BoBo cleaned them for me.
Today I'm grateful that my bed has patience. It was calling me all day to just take a lil nap and rest my feet. I'm grateful to be going to bed soon!

Thanksgiving Thanks Day 3

Today I'm grateful for:
My Office/Staff: I love being able to go into the office and most of the time everyone is happy, cheerful and always says, "Hi, Molly. How are you doing today?" I love my office, we're like one big happy family.
Grocery Carts: As I entered Winco trying to "beat the rush," -- uh-huh, yeah, right -- for getting my Thanksgiving groceries, I used my cart numerous times to run over people. (okay, not really, but I wanted to -- I just popped in another piece of my "special" juicy fruit to take the stress away.)
My Job for Today: I was hoping that right before the weekend hit I wouldn't get another 300 pages like last week because I'm still playing catchup on that, I only got 140 pages so I'm grateful for that!
The Great City of Boise: I love the town I live in. It's perfect for me. It has great weather, fun things to do and is beautiful year-round. And it has stores that stay open past 6:00 in the winter and 7:00 in the summer (sorry, no offense, Pipers Grocery Store.)
Music: I love all kinds of music and in fact, I'm even listening to a little -- I mean, tiny little bit - of country music (and by the way, when did country music become so rock-n-roll?).
Laughter. What would this world be if laughter wasn't a part of it? I have laughed so much this past month than I have for 5 months. And people tend to smile when you smile or laugh when you laugh. I think we need to do that more often.

Thanksgiving Thanks Day 2

Today I am thankful for:
My car. Who isn't this time of year, right?
My house. I look at these people (mostly men) who stand at corners holding cardboard signs that say, "Homeless, no work and no car." I'm glad I have a house to come home to and the heat I am able to afford.
My dad. My dad over the past month has definitely shown love to me. Before when I would call and he would answer, we would say 30 seconds worth of words and then say, "You wanna talk to you mama?" then hand the phone over to mom. This last month if I call home, we can talk for 15 minutes. Whether it's about my dogs, how I'm doing with not smoking, or girls basketball, I have definitely enjoyed our visits. I'm forever grateful to him for helping me with college and bills.
My Health. I'm grateful for my health to be able to take a deep breath and not wheez. I'm breathing better and better and deeper and deeper every day.
My Proofers. I am so blessed to have wonderful proofers. When I hand over them a job to edit, they have the expertise and knowledge to correct my mistakes and then I can turn in a beautiful work product.
BSU Football. You might say, "What? Seriously?" Yep. I'm glad we have BSU football to watch on TV. It brings my family together and let's me have a chance to host a lil party. Maybe this week against Nevada I should crack out the ribs because everyone will be sick of turkey by then, 'eh, JoJo?

Thanksgiving Thanks Day 1

This year I have too many things to be thankful for so every day this week I am going to write what I'm grateful for. So here they are in random order:
My job. Even though I may gripe and complain about too many pages or not enough, I'm glad I have a job.
Technology. I wouldn't be able to do my job without my stenograph, computer, digital recorder, Internet, or my phone.
BoBo. Even though BoBo jumps up onto my countertops and eats my bread, tomatoes, onions, bananas, or just wants to shred papers, I can't imagine my life right now without him.
Gussie. Even though I hate when Gus barks at everyone who walks by, the mailman when he slips the mail through the slot in my door, I can't imagine my life right now without him.
Jody. I love my sister. She is so caring, aware of others needs, good worker and bent over backwards to help me when I was down for my surgery. She worked a full day, came up to take care of me and my needs and then had to travel home to take care of her own family.
Rain. I love my sister. She is so giving and wants no recognition. She is a wonderful cook and can whip up anything out of my empty cupboards and make a gourmet meal in 30 minutes. She came to help me while I was in the hospital by cooking up a storm to make sure I had food to come home to and cared for my dogs.
Mom. I love my mom. Anytime that I have a problem I can call her up to blab, gab, vent or cry and she doesn't judge me, she just listens. She is selfless in her acts for everyone and doesn't want any recognition. She is a hard worker. She loves like no other.
My friends. I have too many to name individually, but I truly have wonderful friends/cousins. I took for granite my friends. I was having a hard time and thought I could pull myself out of the rut, but with friends by my side, I know I'm not alone.

21

The number 21 is my favorite number. While playing sports in high school, my volleyball number was 21 and basketball was 22 (only because they had even numbers). So I thought I would just say that on October 21st, 2010 I quit smoking. It's been 21 days today since I quit smoking. In 21 days it will be my nephew's 18th Birthday and I will be in Mexico. It will probably take 21 years to payoff my medical bills.

Followup Dr. Appointment

After not having dressed up for 2 weeks, wearing nothing but hospital gowns, stretchy pants, sweat shirt and going braless, today for my doctor's appointment I decided to wear a little makeup and wear some normal clothes. He said everything was looking good and things are healing as they should. He went over what he had done during surgery and said, "Your lungs are darker than they should be for your age. I ADVISE you to quit smoking." I told him I haven't smoked since going to the ER and I will never smoke again. All in all I'm doing very well and hoping to work some time this week either one day or two. I need to keep myself somewhat busy because sitting around doing nothing brings on wanting to smoke. Changing my routine has started, but mornings are still tough.
As I was talking to my sister Rainy today she said, "You've motivated me to try to stop smoking." Hey, that's all I can ask for. I hope I can keep her motivated and me at the same time. Me and my friend Cindy are going to join a nonsmoking group that will last 6 weeks. I'm kind of excited.
I'm excited for a fresh start to my life. I was pretty down in the dumps for the past few months and was in a downward spiral, so this gallbladder thing and stay at the hospital saved me literally. I'm also excited to have a new perspective on my life and health. So cheers to me for the upcoming battles I'm faced with, but the triumphs I will accomplish!

Resident at the St. Luke's Downtown

Six months ago I knew I was having pain in my gallbladder area, but I just kept putting it off and putting it off and trying to monitor the pain with ibuprofen, which usually worked, until October 21st, Thursday, at 2:00 in the morning. I started throwing up and throwing up. I had even tried to take ibuprofen, but it just came up, too. I knew something was wrong this time. I was in so much pain, but not in the gallbladder area, it was in the middle of my chest area. Finally after having no sleep, I called Jody at her work at 9:30 and said, "I need to go to the ER and I can't drive myself." She was up here in a hop-skip-and-a-jump and we went to St. Luke's Downtown. After running several tests, yup, my gallbladder needed to come out, that was no surprise, but what was the surprise was the pancreatitis. They said that a stone was stuck in the bile duct between the gallbladder and the pancreas and that it could be life threatening and they said, "You're being admitted." Since I had put Jody off on calling mom to tell her that I was in the ER until tests were done when we knew I was being admitted I started crying. She rubbed my arm said it will be all right and said, I'd better call mom. Now, not ever being admitted to the hospital before or having surgery, here I was being admitted to the hospital and surgery couldn't be done until Monday? Really? Is this necessary?
Well, to make a long story short, the surgery was Monday and I was released Tuesday. The stone was not there in the duct when they went in so no additional surgery was needed, they just took out the gallbladder. It's Thursday and I'm feeling okay. Getting around better and better every day.

Heimlich

Last night after coming home from my job, which was in the top 3 worst jobs ever, I had sat down to eat some dinner, watch Grey's and poured me a glass of milk so I could have a Pepperidge Farm milk chocolate macadamia nut cookie to treat myself for such torture I went through. I took a bite after dunking it in the cold milk and then had another this time without the milk, that's when it happened, the nut got stuck in my throat. I jumped off the sofa trying to breathe and instantly had my head down hoping it would get unstuck. I ran into the wall with my head, then ran myself into my bar-high stool. The first time hurt bad enough, but I knew I had to do it again. I ran myself again into the bar stool thinking the whole time, help me someone. That nut flew out as I rammed myself once again. I fell to my knees in complete exhaustion and then immediately started to cry. My chest hurt, my knee hurt and the top of my head was bleeding. I didn't know whether I had a concussion or not. I called Jody, "I ALMOST DIED," and then tried to explain the rest as I'm sobbing. Needless to say I packed up the boys at 9:30 and headed out to stay the night. I did not want to be alone. Well, this morning, my body aches. My head is crusted with blood spots, I have paint remnants in my hair, a big goose egg on my forehead, my chest hasn't shown any bruising yet, but I feel it coming and my knee is scabbed. The Heimlich remover maneuver worked, but only probably with a little help from someone up there.

Nah, I don't wanna

One morning this week at 7:30 I had to drive to Nampa for a job. It was pretty chilly in my house, down to 64, and I decided to turn on the heater for a few minutes to get warm. Well, right before I am to leave, Gus hadn't gotten up from bed yet. I said, "Gus, I have to go to work today, you need to go outside and go potty." He edges his nose out to the end of the blanket sniffs around, feels how cold it is -- and if he could talk, he woulda said, "Nah, I don't wanna; it's too cold out there." And he nestled back down under the blankets. I pulled a Dallas (here comes the tractor moment) and pull back the blankets and expose his body, which he is now on his
back -- having the look on his face of "Rub me, love me. I don't wanna go outside." Dogs, you gotta love 'em.

BoBo's Belly

This week as I went to a job and was gone for a few hours, I came home to once again BoBo barking in the backyard, which means he's gotten into something in the house. I walk in and find my cold medicine on the floor. I don't know how much he had eaten because I'm sure he didn't have time to peel the foil wrappers, take with an 8-ounce glass of water or use every 4-6 hours as needed. What I did find was BoBo's eyes glossy, him acting loopy, and his tail was straight.
It was like the time when he swallowed the sock, I tried to give him the Heimlich remover maneuver, tried to get him to throw up and finally went into the vet at 12:00 at night. Him coming out of the vet's office glazed eyes and a straight tail. I started crying when I saw Bo coming out and the vet's like, "Oh, he's going to be fine, he's just drugged up." I said, that's not why I'm crying. I'm crying because his tail is straight.
Well, since that experience at the vet's office, I already knew the medicine had kicked in so it's not like he could throw up anything. So I just monitored him and made sure he was breathing. He was fine that night, but it sure was scary. All I have to say is that BoBo's belly must be partly made up of a cow's and a pig's because he just eats EVERYTHING!

Bronco Nation!

As the season of BSU football is upon us, I thought I would blog about how much I love the Broncos! Every Friday, even if the game is on Saturday, you will see "casual Fridays" in attorneys' offices where everyone is wearing a Bronco shirt. When game day arrives, you see an array of flags on cars, people riding bikes, walking their dog, to everyone at the grocery store all wearing a Bronco shirt proud. When you're not wearing a Bronco shirt, they figure you're a Vandal -- and this town can't have that. I will be posting some pictures soon of this Bronco Nation lil family! Me, BoBo and Gussie -- yes, we all have shirts!

Hmm...... Interesting

It's been an interesting month since I last blogged. Been having some weird and some hard jobs lately. There was the stuttering veterinarian whom I felt sorry for because after every answer he would look at me with this "Did-you-get-my-answer" look. I'd wink at him, smile, nod my head to calm him down because the attorney was making him upset and he'd stutter more. The lisp man who was on 14 different drugs, smoked for 30 years and was an alcoholic who'd had a heart attack on the job and he's saying it was a workers' compensation case. The attorney who asked me if "I had a hearing problem" because I couldn't hear the witness who would talk normal before the deposition started and normal during breaks, but when questioned by counsel would lower his head and mumble. The witness who was engaged to a man whom she'd known for 3 years, but didn't know anything about him -- like the fact he was living in California, about to go to prison, had nine children and was living with another woman who had just had a little baby less than 3 months old. The biggest Dallas Cowboy's fan who had a theft in his storage unit that had approximately $65,000 worth of memorabilia -- he was 48, had 6 children himself, his wife was unemployed and he was unemployed....hmm, interesting....Why don't you sell some of that stuff if it's worth $65,000?

The Joke's On Me!

I went over to Debra's house last week and got my present from Aunt Joyce and Aunt Sharon. I think the pictures speak for themselves. If you can't see what it is, they took a BSU t-shirt and a BYU t-shirt, cut them in half, and then sewed them together. All I know is that I've got a little thinking to do to get my funny revenge! Be Afraid Aunt Joyce and Aunt Sharon, be VERY afraid!

Ward Girls Unite!

Last night I was able to have Emily and Debra come over for a "spa" night. We had Subway "Eat Fresh" sandos, chips and Crystal Light -- oh, and then M&Ms and homemade chocolate chip cookies (which doesn't count because we ate so well before that). We laughed and reminisced about the good ol' days of playing sports together. Then I pushed play for the relaxing CD in my stereo and we began. I only had one tub for soaking feet so one soaked and scrubbed and the other did the facial. I painted their toes with their choice of polish color. I told them, "I don't know how I ended up with all this nail and toe stuff when I don't have fingernails." Good times had by all! And by the way, when did I become such a scrimp next to these Ward girls? What happened there?

Scary Storm

It all started on Saturday night around 8:30. The wind started picking up ferociously and by 9:00, I started to get nervous. Then it happened, the lights went out at 9:15 and the wind was whipping my trees and plants around. All of a sudden the wind, now blowing up to 70mph, (according to the newspaper) picked up my umbrella, that was sitting inside of my glass table, and threw it slamming it into the ground. My table was shattered into diamond-sized pieces all over my lawn. Now I was really starting to get scared. Fire trucks and sirens were going off all around me. I quickly thought in the dark, I'm getting my stuff ready to hit the road. I felt through the dark and packed up my computer, all my work-related stuff, threw some clothes into a bag and put it all in my car so that I only had to load up the dogs and get outta here. Within 30 minutes the sirens seemed like they were just next door they were so loud and then the embers started flying in the air. Now, as most of you know, I live next to an old, dried up house that could go up in smoke at any moment. I got the hose out and started spraying the garage and the fence. Still almost crapping my pants of what I was going to do, I nestled onto my couch with my dogs to watch the storm. Then I realized, how do my neighbors have power and I don't? They live right across the street. I walk outside and look down one side and down the other. My whole side didn't have power and the other side did. More sirens. I didn't go to bed until 11:30 Saturday night and when I awoke, still no power. Needless to say, I really need to get my 72-hour kit ready for "emergencies" like this. The power didn't come back on until 1:23 early Monday morning. I was without power for 28 hours and 8 minutes. First of all, this doesn't really ever happen in Boise, but it really made me think about being prepared.

Birthday Bike

This year for my birthday I bought myself a bike. It is soooo fun to ride and it's sooo cute! Love it!

You Wanna Bet?

While I was in Richfield the boys next door came over. We did a lot of playing with the dogs, card playing and laughing. After we were finished playing outside for a couple hours we came back inside to play some cards. They had just learned to play gin rummy and were so excited to show me their stuff. I kicked their little bums like nothing else. By the third time I said, "Whoever wins this next hand, the losers have to wash my car tomorrow." They were all giddy saying, "Oh, yeah, Aunt Molly, bring it on. If you lose, you have to wash Grandma's car." I said, "Deal." The game gets going and we're getting down to the bottom of the pile. I'm thinking, oh, crap, I'm gonna lose. With three cards left, Breck threw down the card I needed and I slammed my winnings on the table doing a little happy dance while doing it (man, I play mean, don't I?) and said, "See you tomorrow boys. Bring the soap and bucket." I love winning. Notice Breck in the picture giving a thumbs down.

Gondola Ride

I started my vacation down in Richfield for a few days and Mom and I were able to run up to Sun Valley and ride the gondola. I was pretty nervous when it first took off, but the way down I knew what to expect. I couldn't believe that Sid and crew put those huge beams in clear up the mountain. I just kept looking down saying, wow, seriously? It was really incredible.

As we took off up the hill we got about 30 feet from the start and the gondola stopped. Since Mom had taken Jody and Spencer the week before, she knew what to expect, but she wasn't expecting it to stop either. I asked her, "Is this normal?" She said that it never stopped when she went with them. We were hanging in the air and then started back up again. Then after we got up there and walked around a little bit, we got back on and didn't even get in and settled when it stopped again. We just laughed. I thought, maybe there is a weight restriction and they're telling me to hike back down the mountain. Once we were getting ready to depart from the gondola it stopped for the final time. We were already at the bottom and the doors were only 3 inches from opening completely. We laughed again. It was a fun ride.

Take me out to the ballgame........

Last Friday I was able to go with Jody, Lee, Spencer and his friend to watch the Hawks game. I had never been to one and it was fun.

"Please Hold."

"Thank you for calling the IRS. Your call is very important to us. Your hold time is approximately 15 minutes (notice that the automated person comes on depending on the call volume). The next available representative will be with you shortly.... music.....Please enter your account number..beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep... music.... Your call is still very important to us please continue to hold.... music.. Please enter your date of birth......beep beep beep beep beep beep... music.....(notice that they tease you when they have to restart the song by saying please continue to hold and you think you're going to talk to a real person)....more music.....repeat of your 'call is very important to us another 120 times.'"
Hello, thank you for calling the IRS, my name is Rhonda, my number is 7493022394783830 (no kidding it was that long).
Yes, I'd like to know why my statement says I only paid $57 and I paid $100.
Let me verify a few things. What's your date of birth? Social Security number? Address? Marital status? Year of the inquiry you're calling about? Which statement number? What's your mother's maiden name? Do you have dogs? (okay, they didn't ask me that, but maybe I should have included that on my taxes since they are expensive, too.)
After I tell Rhonda all the information she says, okay, now that I have your account up, Please Hold (for another 10 minutes) while I look it over.
Have you ever wondered what they are doing when they tell you to please hold? I mean, you've typed in all the pertinent information when you were holding to even speak to a representative, so it's automatically up on their screen even before you talk. They know EVERYTHING about you and you haven't said one word.
What they are really doing is eating their lunch because they skipped out to deposit their check and go shopping. They've stop and grabbed a burger and sat back down at their desk. And so they're back at their desk with their headphones on, munching yahm, yahm, yahm (say like cookie monster) on their burger when, how dare the next person interrupts their lunch. They put you on hold to "research" your account. Meanwhile, they're laughing with the other representatives who are doing the exact same thing.
She gets back on the phone 5 minutes later. "Okay, after looking over your account, it seems like there was a computer glitch and now it's fixed. Anything else I can help you with?"
I have worked in the customer service representative position, people, I know what happens behind the scenes!! The secret is out..... tada.....

Squirrel Stew -- Who's coming for dinner? (PG-13 rated.)

Today the squirrels were really bothering BoBo. He's been outside waiting for them for the last two hours. I've watched him out my office window. He's just been watching them, barking at them and occasional chasing after them. Until this happened...... I think the squirrels are in heat because there's been 3 all day running around after each other from tree to tree. BoBo (I can't believe he jumped up so high) jumped up into the air, caught the squirrel's tail (meanwhile, I'm full blown running out the back door, slipped on his Rhino toy and fell down on my knee on the hardwood floors). Apparently by the time I get up and get outside, he's got the squirrel who is screaming (you don't think squirrels could scream did you?) in his mouth and tosses him up in the air. I was trying to bribe BoBo with a cookie, a treat, a ride, a walk (those are all things that he perks up for) and nothing was working. He continued to play toss and catch with this squirrel. Pretty soon it was over. I grabbed the snow shovel and threw the squirrel over into the abandoned house next door's backyard. BoBo is feeling victorious because there are no more squirrels around.

Nicknames

We all have nicknames or alias names we go by when we go a little wild and crazy, but I've been thinking about all the nicknames I've gone by. Here they are: Molly, Mol, Molz, Marley, Mon, Monie, Molna, Moley, GeorginaRafina, Connie, Judy, and the latest, Little Judy Squinch Booty. I can't help but wonder, how does one single person have all these nicknames?

The Ending to Diary of a Mad Court Reporter

Dear Diary: As I awoke to a 5:00 alarm on Tuesday morning, I did not want to get up. In fact, I couldn't think for a minute why in the world my alarm was even going off so early -- I hit snooze... 3 minutes later my alarm goes off again... why is it going off again? Now I'm awake. I have to go do Volume 5 of crazy lady in Ontario.
We get going... wow, it's going pretty good. She's answering the questions. What's the catch? Something's gotta give, right? Nope... Lunchtime. The attorney, we will call him Garth. Garth, decides that on the last day we should go ahead and have lunch together. We've eaten at this place in the hotel four times, but at different tables because we've had an "obligation" to sit apart. He spills the beans. Come to find out that the reason we've gone into such depths with this lady is because she's had a prior insurance claim and she's claimed the same things in 2005.
We went over a document from 2005 -- unbeknownst to her -- and she was like yep, that's the same outfit, yep that's the same keyboard, yep that's my tv and vcr and dvd... yep, yep, yep, yep, yep...... having no clue that's she's just sunk her own ship. The insurance company is putting together a criminal fraud charge for her, and the more she went into details, the merrier. It's like I just finished a novel of being bored out of my mind and then all of a sudden there comes a twist in the story and I'm glued to the book for 4 hours until we finish. 4:30, we're done... I actually had one of the biggest smiles on my face knowing that this has got to be the longest Examination Under Oath in history, this lady ain't gettin a dime and I've got 760 pages to still complete (it was bitter sweet.)
Crazy: So can I have your phone number?
Me: I have yours in case for spellings.
Crazy: I just feel like you're a really nice person and someone fun to hang out with.
Me: Oh, that's so nice. I don't know what the policy is on giving witness my phone numbers. I don't think it would be a good idea to "hang out."
Crazy: I feel like we've just gotten to know each other over the course of this thing.
(What I wanted to say) Lady, you know nothing about me.... I know everything about you.... NO I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND, YOU'RE CRAZY!!!
Me: Well, if I have any questions, I'll give you a call. Good luck with your case.
After some long intense days the total page count is over 1,300 pages..... luckily, I get paid per page! Can I get a whoop whoop?

Diary of a Mad Court Reporter 2

Dear Diary:Yesterday I got up at 5:00 to leave my house by 6:30 to head to Ontario for Volume 4 starting at 8:00 of this crazy lady. By 10:30 I knew we were not going to finish. I mean, how many can one person have of clothes and remember exactly where they bought them and how much they paid for them and what year they got them? I know I can't do that. It's 12:10 and we break for lunch. I took my own lunch so I could read my emails, call and talk to Cindy (another court reporter) to have her give me a pep talk to not tie my machine around my waist and jump in the pool. This too shall pass... this too shall pass.... this too shall pass -- nope, it isn't working. We start again at 1:00. Needless to say we did not finish and I got another 300+ pages. We go start again next Tuesday at 8:00. People, we haven't even gotten finished with her clothes. We haven't even started with household items. I can see this examination under oath going for 10 volumes. All I can say is, who knows a good massage person? Because my shoulders have 700 pages worth of weight on them and it feels like concrete.

WWW SMACKDOWN: Squirrel Verus BoBo

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the main event. Along one side of the fence we have a 4'5" (standing on his back feet) weighing in at 90 pounds BOBO WARD...... On the fence we have a 6" weighing in at 1 pound SQUIRREL..... Round 1 Squirrel is taunting BoBo for last 5 minutes dancing along the fence line, jumping from tree to tree, talking smack. BoBo is barking. Round 2 BoBo crouches watching patiently for the Squirrel to stop talking smack and come down and fight, more barking. Round 3 Squirrel jumps from tree, BoBo hauls butt along the fence line, jumps into the air nips the Squirrel's tail, Squirrel falls over into neighbor's yard. Round 4 Squirrel jumps up from neighbor's yard back onto the fence, BoBo jumps on the fence, Squirrel gets knocked off, falls to the ground, BoBo doesn't know what to do but bark, Squirrel fakes dead, gets up and runs to the tree. Squirrel wins today.

Diary of a Mad Court Reporter

Dear Diary: Traveling to Ontario last Monday was so refreshing. Waking up at 6, getting ready, leaving out the door by 7:30, driving in the cool 60-degree morning with the sun shining bright, I knew that my 9:00 deposition was going to be great. I arrive at 8:30 at the Holiday Inn Lewis conference room and realize we are sitting poolside... ahhhhhh... so refreshing. With a few technical difficulties with the speaker phone for the insurance adjuster who was listening from the telephone, we got started at 9:30. Maybe I'd been gazing out at the pool a little too long because before you know it, it's 12:00, lunchtime! Wow, this day is going so fantastic. I'm at 120 pages and we have no end of finishing today -- oh, well. It's a pretty good job for the most part. 3:00, man, I'm so dang tired, I wish this witness would just answer these questions. We could have been done by now. 5:00 and 260 pages, are you kidding me? We aren't even done? COME ON. Have to reschedule for Volume III.
Dear Diary: I'm not very happy today as I have to go back to Ontario to do Volume III of this crazy lady. All I can think about is $$$$$$$$$$$$. Ahhh, that helps. 9:00 we start. Oh, that's right, how can I forget, this lady won't answer the question in just a yes/no format she has to talk for 3 pages and then say yes or no. 9:30 I'm rotating my chair away from this crazy lady and have to zone out onto the pool. Ahhhhh, that's better...... 11:00, 100 pages in. Are you serious? How can you think your daughter climbed into your crawl space and was watching you at night and then coming into your apartment and steeling your stuff? Are you for real? Seriously, you think that your daughter has tapped your cell phone and listening to your conversations because you can hear an echo and then the call disconnects? Come on lunchtime...12:30 lunchtime... 1:50 lunchtime over already, what? I have to go back to work? 2:00 is it break time yet? 2:30 break time boss? 3:30, 210 pages in. I want to go tie my machine around my waist and jump into the pool and sink... make these voices in my head stop (oh, that's right, they're not in my head they are coming through my ears and into my brain and won't stop.) 4:30, we are not going to finish today. 5:15, 270 pages... not done yet. Volume 4 to be scheduled.

Rags

Rags are such a valuable tools for everyday life. When I was little and got hurt, there wasn't no kissy-kissy from mom, it was "Do you need a cold rag?" We'd say yes, put it on our wound and stop crying immediately. I still need a cold rag occasionally for my head, eyes, hot flashes, et cetera. Rags aren't just used to help stop the pain, but to clean things, also. Today Gus discovered one of my rags. I had a pile of laundry sitting in the bathroom ready to be thrown into the washer and he decided to "run" with it. I hope he doesn't get any ideas that this is his new toy because as you can see from the picture, he started to shred it.... that is unless I can train him to start dusting!

Memorial Day Memories

On this Memorial Day, I wish to share with you some memories of the ones I've lost who are so very dear to me. Grandpa Clifford Ward, aka CW, 14th of March, 1989. I remember Grandpa's hugs. He gave the best hugs ever. He would squeeze you so tight, but not so tight that you couldn't breathe, but tight enough that you felt safe and welcome.
Grandma Nellie Pyrah, 19th of April, 1990. I remember Grandma being at this little apartment in Richfield where Mom and Aunt Sis would take turns taking care of her. Occasionally, I was able to stay the night on the floor next to my mom's bed while Grandma was out in the living room in her hospital bed. I remember Grandma's smile. She had one of the most wonderful smiles ever... maybe that's where I get my smile. Her smile could light up a room. I remember going and visiting her on Sunday, especially, playing Rook or even watching the Chicago Cubs play baseball. (They were her favorite team) and listening to Harry Carey announce the game.
Grandma Olive Ward, 21st of January, 2000. There are so many memories I have of Grandma Ward, mainly because I was older. Calling her and her voice saying "Nello." Asking, "Grandma, can I come in?" "Yes, of course" was always her response. Going in, knocking on her door, literally, and saying, "Knock knock." And her saying with a cheerful smile, "Come in." Getting in her house, visiting, and then setting up the card table to play Zilch. On the day that she passed, I was up in Richfield from college, down in Salt Lake, and she had been sick. She was in the hospital in between Boise and Twin Falls for quite a few weeks. I believe Dennis, Aunt Sharon and Aunt Joyce had been up to the house preparing it for her return, that was wheelchair accessible. I told mom I was on my way to see Grandma when I got home, and my friend Candace was outside of her house and I decided to divert my way to see her instead of going on up to Grandma's house. I visited with her for over an hour and she invited me to go to a basketball game in Dietrich that night. I decided that I would go see Grandma the next day. I headed back home and passed my mom ... we pulled over and spoke. "Grandma has passed." I immediately started to cry knowing that I was that close to telling her goodbye.
Memorial Day is for remembering those you've loved, and I wanted to share a few memories of who I've loved and remembered.

Work, Work, Work -- oh, did I mention work?

It's been a while since I've blogged, so I thought I would just say one word, "Work!" Holy Moly, Molly has been busy. I hosted a dinner party for a few of my work gals last Friday night. Unfortunately, since I was so busy making sure everyone was having a good time, I forgot to take pictures. I love hosting dinner parties. I think if I wasn't a court reporter, I could probably be a pretty darn good party planner. Anyway, in between working last week, preparing food and cleaning my house, I had accumulated 550 pages. On Saturday and Sunday I did a total of 160 pages. And then worked today and got 125 more. So here I am back up to 515. Thankfully, my job for tomorrow just cancelled (love that) and so I can stay at home and work. I'm open to free meals being delivered to my house at any time! Just kidding. Have a great week!

Sunbathing

You were expecting to see a picture of me in my kini, right? Uh-huh, try again. This is one of the nicest weather days we've had in quite some time. Little wind, the sun is shining bright and the boys are loving being outside. Bo likes to lay on the grass, then on the deck in the shade. He goes back and forth. Gus likes to lay exclusively on the deck, it's the warmest. I love it that he will go in and out through the dog door on his own!

Modo Baseball Game

So for those of you who don't know about Modo, Modo is Spencer, Jody and Lee's son. When Modo was really little, about a year and some, he used to say "mo" for no, and "do" for don't. It stuck as a nickname that he will have for the rest of his life of Modo.

Yesterday Modo had a baseball game. Jody had told me that he gets really nervous when people come to watch him and to maybe just whistle instead of yell, "GO MODO!!" He had a couple good hits. Here are a couple pictures.

Slug Bug No Slugs Back

As I was driving to the office yesterday there were three construction men. One was about 6'3" and about 260 pounds, one that was about 6'1" and about 220 pounds, and one that was maybe 5'11" and 170 pounds. They were all standing around wasting taxpayer's money, it looked like to me, and I pull up to the red light, first in line. All of a sudden the biggest guy fists up and hits the medium guy in the chest and says, "Slug bug, no slugs back." Then the medium guy hits the smaller guy and says, "Slug bug, no slugs back." Then they all start laughing and rubbing their chests. I can't help but wonder, when does "Slug bug, no slugs back" get old? Shouldn't there be an age limit on it? I mean, what a bunch of dufices (sp).

More Pictures

More pictures from Dad's party.

A Minute to Win it -- Ward Family Style

At Dad's birthday party, we all had a small part in a program. Kristen and Sid's part was the game "A Minute to Win it" from the show on NBC. Here are some pictures of certain tasks they were asked to perform.

70 Cupcakes for the 70th Birthday Dad

On Saturday we had a birthday party for dad. Instead of doing a big cake, Mom decided she was going to have Rainy do cupcakes. So along with the help of our cousin, Diane, here are a few pictures of the "cupcake tower". They made chocolate, lemon and carrot. It looked absolutely amazing.

At last!

The last few months I've had some real crappy depos. For example, witness interruptions/ attorney interruptions depos, only one person ordered it after you've been there all day and it was 200 pages depos, real dense vocabulary depos, attorneys wanted the question read back and so I just muffed my way through it because they were talking too fast and didn't listen to me to slow down depos, or just plain I-didn't-want-to-be-there depos. The last three depos have been a wonderful change. For example, a depo that I've done 3 witnesses in and so I've created a job dictionary and everything translates which makes my editing much easier, or the hardest word I wrote was "prom" depo, or today's depo where I was affixed on an attorney's lips (which were luscious, by the way, and he's married, dang it) in speaking and the hardest word was "gravel". Hallelujah, I've think I've finally cracked my running streak for bad jobs.

Big Fat Loser

So, ya'll know that I love, love, love the Big Fat Loser, as I call it, and so here is my picture. I don't really like this picture, but here it is.
I've lost 15 pounds, 3 1/2 inches from my chest, 2 1/2 inches from my thighs, 3 inches from my waist.

Venting.......

Being a court reporter, you hear all kinds of stuff. Some of it is very exciting and draws you into the life of the person, and then there are the same 'ol car accidents that they got rear-ended and now they're claiming all sorts of damages because their back hurts and they can't work, blah, blah, blah... boo-hoo... when there's only $500worth of damage to their car... give me a break.
I've been working on this transcript for a week it's 195 pages and growing... meaning, I've dropped some words taking the record down, or in editing, it needs a new paragraph, there's interruptions, etc. In this depo: CAN I GET AN ATTORNEY THAT CAN SPIT OUT THE DAMN QUESTION? and CAN I GET A WITNESS THAT WILL LET THE ATTORNEY FINISH SPITTING OUT HIS QUESTION WITHOUT AN INTERRUPTION? Can I hear an AMEN? Come on people!!! I have 37 pages left and I want to give it to my proofer and say, just delete the last 37 pages because it doesn't matter anymore. UGH........

My Apologies

Sorry about not posting a picture and measurements, I've been feeling down with the weather and with work. I need warmth and a day where I don't even have to think about working.... ah wouldn't that be nice? I will post one soon, maybe even tomorrow. I work out tomorrow (meaning on a job) and it always makes me feel good to get doo'd up and see one of my favorite attorneys. I hope the job goes well, because I don't need another crappy one.... ugh....

The Reveal

I know all you fans have been waiting for the "Big Reveal," however, I need to find someone who will take a picture of me all doo'd up. It will probably be just a close up and then you can compare to the picture that was taken the day before the diet of the office M&M party here at my house. I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow, haven't decided whether I'm changing the color yet, but I will take a picture soon and post some measurements. Thanks for all the good wishes throughout this crazy diet and hope to change even more!!! GOOOOOOOO MOLLY! (yes, I used to be a cheerleader and I'm not necessarily proud of that) :)

BoBo's Vocabulary

They say a dog can understand 100 words. If you work with them, a "trained" dog can learn up to 200 words. Well, this post stems from a conversation that I had when I was in Richfield a couple weeks ago with my mom. When I went to the Petco to get dog food, I bought a couple toys for the boys. I bought a chicken and a pig. When we got to Richfield, I took the toys out of the bag held them side by side to Bo and said, "This is the chicken," and I'd put the chicken in his face, "chicken, chicken, chicken," is what I said. Then I held up the pig and said the same thing. Mom was laughing in the meantime. I put the two toys behind my back, acted like I switched them around, brought them back out and asked BoBo, "Where's the pig?" Mom, I thought, was about to laugh her way off the couch. He comes right to the pig and takes it from my hand. Then we both laughed hard. (You've pictured this, right?) So then I decided when I got back to Boise, I would start making a list of what BoBo knows. Here's BoBo's Vocabulary: sit, shake, shake other hand, down, rollover, high five, dinner, breakfast, treat, cookie, a lil sumpin, walk, park, river, ride, get in, come, stay, Gus/Gussie, jerry the weasel, chicken, pig, monkey, reindeer, hamburger, bone, kong, peanut butter, ball, kitty, cat, meow, squirrel, Rainy, Grama, Grama's house, JoJo, JoJo's coming for lunch, Modo, Uncle Meany, Sirius, Scott, Sam-Sam, speak, speak a lil louder, mama has to go to work today so you and Gussie have to be good boys (yes, he understands all of that), mama loves you, you stink, skit'em, mailman, go, on your mark get ready get set go, Gabriel, Botus, Coyote (Kristen's dog Cody), Jadie, no barking, quit licking, bad dog, not right now, good boy, let's take a lil nap. Those are all the ones that I've written down. There could be more, but that gives you an idea of his vocabulary. Gus' Vocabulary: cookie and BoBo.

For Hire:

Do you have a husband that works all day and leaves you with the spring-cleaning projects out back? Do you need your trees trimmed and then shredded?
At BoBo's Backyard Bark, he not only trims your trees, he hauls them to a designated spot on your lawn and shreds them into bits. He charges only a low price of 3 treats per hour. When he is finished with this job, you now only have to go to the designated spot on your lawn and rake up or pick up the pieces. How simple is that?
Book now, his calendar his filling up fast!

Almost to the END!

Well, I've just about made it to the end of this crazy diet and ready to begin my healthy lifestyle of diet and exercise. When I am finished with this crazy part, I will take some pictures and post them, along with some measurements. I'm way to embarrassed to post the pre-diet picture, it's awful!!! Less than a week and counting......

Thanks Cadbury and Aunt Joyce

Last night I got to talk to Aunt Joyce. She was very graphic in details about how she loved and enjoyed the Cadbury chocolate eggs. Our conversation went a lil something like this.
AJ: "How's the diet going?"
MW: "It's hard because I've got such a sweet tooth."
AJ: "I especially love the Cadbury chocolate eggs."
MW: "Yeah, me, too!"
AJ: "I particularly love having a swig of water, pop an egg in, let it marinate in my mouth as the chocolate coating melts off and drips down my throat."
MW: "Oooooooh, that sounds so delicious and vicious. Thanks Aunt Joyce for the visual."
Dang to you Mr. Cadbury for coming up with what seemed to be gross and disgusting, those Cadbury eggs. Not the chocolate ones that Aunt Joyce was referring to, but the ones that look like eggs. I haven't bought a Cadbury egg in years because I thought it was just gross and too sweet (is there such a thing as too sweet?) But now after having talked to Aunt Joyce and seeing the commercial for the "Cadbury bunny try-outs" I want a dang egg..... I guess I'll have to settle for another piece of Melba toast..... man, oh, man how it is not the same.

On Your Mark, Get Set, GOOOOO!!!

Today I had the shortest depo I've ever done, 9 minutes. It wasn't even worth climbing up a flight of stairs in high-heels, carrying a steno machine + gear, then on my shoulder my computer + gear. By the time I got up to the top, I was huffin and puffin, but still trying to look like a lady. After setting up all my gear, which usually takes about 15-20 minutes, in walks the attorney. We will call him "Wilbert." Wilbert sits down says "This depo isn't going to take very long." I'm thinking, oh, that's what they all say and it will go for 4 hours.
After I swear in the witness, we're off. Imagine an auctioneer or porky the pig..... beeedbabadeabdelabdljhadl "Did you look at the report?" abldhal bhdhaldkb dh "I did." bhadlhdblhaldhd "What is your conclusion?" blahdlb hadlbhdlheowidnboia "Same as in the report." DONE>>>>>>>> Throw your hands up in the air as if you've just jumped off a horse, ran over to the calf, threw him on the ground, tied him up and...............TIME.
(This will probably be my only cowboy terminology I will ever use, by the way.)
I thought to myself, "Self, you climbed those stairs, you wrote the fastest you've ever written, you had to have burned a ton of calories. You deserve a lil sumpin." Guess what I'm going to do? Have an extra piece of melba toast!!!!!

Deep Thoughts By Molly Ward

So I tried to not think and post about food, but it just happened. Sorry.

As I sit here and work on a transcript, I find my mind wandering a bit. Here are a few thoughts as I look out my window: Look at BoBo sunbathing, he looks so comfortable and warm. I wonder if I will get to sunbathe in a new swimsuit this summer. I haven't bought a swimsuit since my senior year of high school. Will I be able to wear one that doesn't come from Lane Bryant (a fat girl clothing store for all you skinny-minnies out there) or will I be able to buy one from a department store? Hmmm.....
Oh, look at Gussie. He's chasing after a leaf as it gently rolls across the lawn in the breeze, how cute. I wish I could eat a roll right now. I'm not real picky at the moment, you know, cinnamon rolls, mom's homemade rolls, orange rolls. Hmmm.....
Wow, look at BoBo run after that stupid squirrel, he just about hit the fence. I wonder if I could chase a squirrel. Maybe the question is: Why would I want to chase a squirrel? Maybe if someone held out a candy bar, I would probably chase that -- no, I take that back, I wouldn't chase after it, I would be at a full-blown run after that!!
Aahhh, spring is in the air. Can you feel it? Smell it? or even Taste it? Yeah, me too!
Back to work......

Spicing Things Up a Bit

How much more chicken and beef do I have to eat? If I don't see another piece of chicken or beef again, that's fine by me. After "George Foreman" my meat for the past week, I decided that I was going to try something else. I was getting tired of the ol salt-and-pepper on my meat and wanting, you know, A1 sauce, Heinz 57 sauce or horseradish and mayo mixed together, so I decided to get creative with my spices. I looked to see what spices I could have on my diet and some of them I already had and some I borrowed from my friend. So I decided that instead of George'n the meat, I would cube it up, throw it in a nonstick skillet and just add a little water. And wa-la..... HOLY MACARONI.... it was soooo good. I even decided that for my vegetable I would caramelize my onions, then throw in the meat and hot diggity dog, I've got something that's real tasty. I've cooked it about 3 times and it just gets better and better every time.
Okay, the next post will not be about food, I promise. Can you tell I'm on a diet?

Diet Day 9

So I'm on day 9 of my diet. I survived the weekend with no cheating. I was surely tempted, but I overcame the temptation and kept on going. It's amazing how the brain works when you're on a diet. You think you're losing weight, your jeans that you haven't wore in a year and a half you can wear, and yet it doesn't show on the scale. It's a huge disappointment, but I'm over being upset and onto the next week. My goal this week: DRINK MORE WATER!!!!!

Got food?

When it's raining outside, don't you just want to curl up in your bed or make some cookies and eat the whole batch? Yeah, me too. Only I want to eat and eat and eat and eat and eat not just cookies, but pasta, cheese, ice cream, pancakes, eggs, hmm a Twix sounds good, too. But then I ask myself, "Do you really want to be healthy (okay, really the word here is skinny) and have a good life? or do you want to be fat and have a semi good life and enjoy the bounties of unhealthy foods?" Well, right now on day 5 of my diet, I want to be fat and live a semi good life..... hopefully my thoughts will improve soon or else I won't make it.

M&M Office Party

On Saturday I was able to host the M&M office party at my house. It was a huge success. Even in my small little house, we had a turnout of 24 people. Everyone brought various items to eat and drink. It was a lot of fun. Here are a few pictures.